Inspiration at 3AM

      Yeah, so. This was randomness that came to at none other than 3 in the morning. And then I couldn't sleep for like..oh, maybe forty-five more minutes because that's what happens when I get an idea. They keep me up. >.<

      ANYWAY!

~

      I want to write your name on the walls in these halls, I want to scream this truth to the sky because hey, I'm alive aren't I? Well we're all just dying to find out, yes? Yes, we all want out, it's twisted and turning but if you make a sharp turn here, there's a fork in the road there that'll lead you to-

      Nevermind, I've never really been to that side of town, it's on the outskirts of everything I believe in..I'd draw you a map of this city and these crisscrossing thoughts if you'd take the time to watch ink bleeding across a tattered sky. Better than watching grass grow, that takes time, you know? The weeds in my imagination smother everything and I think-

      Wait, where was I again? Halls and walls and something about your name...I don't remember where I was going on that train but I think it's leading me somewhere new, hopefully a better and brighter "new", where I can soak up some sunlight instead of lying lifeless in these sleepless, Seattle-like rainy days. And hopefully, (if I choose hope over hate and hell-o there) I'll wander those halls and walls with you but we should learn to walk on water, first, it's just something I've always wanted to do. So run with me, we'll leave the crawling business for time and all the minutes we'd kill while kissing stars goodnight-

      But these things can wait a little while, just til I find a Sharpie and a wall or two...

Dream Vs. Nightmare

   More poetic scraps and scribbles, perhaps written with someone on the brain. I'm always thinking of someone, even if it is at times myself. And yes, a lot of the time I'm thinking of myself and just myself. Me vs. me. But isn't that human nature? Isn't that what we do? We are selfish. Sometimes, I think we're just hopeless in general, we've chained ourselves to the depths of despair simply because we can, because it's too hard to try. Because confinement in our own mind is easier than reaching out and saying something to someone, even if it's only a whisper on the edge of consciousness. But tonight, that's not me. Tonight, I feel like giving this thing called "thinking" a shot. Giving this thing called "happiness" and "healing" another go, even if it doesn't all fall into place right away. But until then, I've got these little writing voices roaming around inbetween synapses, whispering, "Writeitdown, writeitnow, writeitloud".

    So here I am, thinking these things with a face in mind. But maybe it's not mine.

    Because maybe. . ."you're gonna be the one that saves me..." - Oasis

    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    To dream is to wonder of all the little things that could be, should be. To nightmare is to remember all the little things that couldn't be, never were, will never be. So what about you and me? What are we? Dream vs. nightmare.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

     Maybe I want to be selfless, unlock myself from this room, swim to the surface of reality, however hellish and boring still. Maybe I want to fix myself because I try to fix anyone else. Because I am selfish first, selfless second. It's a learning process, like everything else. So I'll live, I'll learn, and I'll find all my scattered puzzle pieces along the way.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

    "And all the roads we have to walk are winding,
     And all the lights that lead us there are blinding...

     There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how..." - Oasis

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

       I'm on a "Wonderwall" (Oasis) tangent tonight and I don't know how that song even spun it's way into my brain...See? Life's interesting. Dreams are, too. Maybe more so, sometimes. Don't really know how to compare those two, maybe that'll be my next _________ vs. __________. Ah, well. One day (and night?) at a time. Going to go see if I can go on a dreaming tangent, or find some sort of sleepspace in-between memory and reality..

I think...

I'm writing a book (?)